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Gabe Newell
I hope it was worth the weight. __TOC__ Gabe Logan Newell is the managing director and co-founder of Valve Corporation and a wrestler in VGCW. He has consistently been one of the strongest wrestlers in VGCW - he is a former VGCW Champion and reached the finals of The Great Tournament. He also holds the record for most total eliminations in Royal Rumble matches and has won one such match. In Real Life After leaving the Microsoft Corporation to found Valve in 1996, Gabe Newell (or Gabe N. / Gaben) has spearheaded the effort to save the gaming industry with the development of the software distribution engine Steam and hit franchises such as Half-Life, Counter-Strike, Left 4 Dead, Portal, and Team Fortress despite a tragic inability to understand the number three. He and his company have since become a household name for gamers everywhere, distinguished for their quality games and hat-wearing status. While Valve's slow-to-nonexistent release schedule has been the target of many gamers' jokes, you can be sure it's worth the weight. In VGCW Beta Client Prior to the popularity of VGCW, Gabe Newell was once a VGCW Champion. He at one point went up against Donkey Kong to defend his championship, and succeeded. Sadly, without any archive after that match, it is unknown who exactly claimed the championship from him. Servers Temporarily Down Gabe will forever live in infamy as the first VGCW wrestler to get driven through the ring itself to end the match, sparking a small feud with Nappa. Peremptory Payments Gabe has proven himself to be a formidable foe in the ring. He is one of the few contenders who is consistently able to win through submission via his signature move - The Valve Wrench (also known as the "Gabe Hug" or "Wallet Squeeze"). To this day, five men have ever escaped a Wallet Squeeze - Ganondorf, who pulled it off twice ''in one match, and on January 13th, became the first to GabeSqueeze Gabe to a tapout, as well as Eggman, in a Hell in a Cell match on November 28th, though he tapped on a second attempt and still lost. Then, Barret Wallace was able to escape the hug on February 1st, though he ended up tapping on the second, like Eggman. Chief Arino escaped on 2013-03-19 after Steam refused the Kacho's pocket change meant for the arcade. Finally, in the 2013-03-26 Great Tourney match, Charles Barkley dunked his way out of the hug using his accumulated basketball contract finances. He was later defeated after The Savior layed out on top of him for the pin. All others have immediately tapped out from the hug. Gabe's patented hug technology was stolen by at least two other wrestlers: JonTron and Ganondorf. Ganondorf even successfully used it on Gabe during a King of the Ring tournament. No response has yet come from Gabe. Eliminator.exe On January 1st, 2013 during the Royal Rumble, Gabe Newell nearly set the record for most eliminations. Entering at #11 he would go on to eliminate 8 competitors. Waluigi, Egoraptor, Duke Nukem, Captain Falcon, M. Bison, Pyro, Woody and Ash Ketchum. His reign would then be ended by Dr. Wily, ending his rampage and stunting his shot for the long win. On January 22nd, 2013, Gabe once more showed true Rumble dominance and lasted the longest of any competitor in the competition. With 5 eliminations, he endured multiple double teams and even faced his nemesis Nappa at one point. However once more his overpowering sales were not strong enough as Charles Barkley would slam him out for a win. With 30 eliminations combined, Gabe is currently the record holder for most cumulative royal rumble eliminations, making him easily one of, if not, THE biggest threat in a royal rumble match. Free-to-fight Tragedy struck on February 1st, as Gaben went up against Barret Wallace in a fight to gain the rights to market Final Fantasy VII as a free-to-play game on Steam. Set off by Gabe's new partnership with Shin-Ra, Barret viciously threw Gaben into the audience. 6 people were killed and 2 were seriously wounded by this event. Although Gabe nor Valve has issued an official statement after the incident, rumors speculate that Gabe has gifted free copies of DOTA 2 for the families of the victims, along with an exclusive "My Family Member was Crushed by Gaben" hat for TF2. Gaben would go on to win the match, ensuring many hats for all Final Fantasy fans. He would, however, then become the next victim of the rampaging Mr. L, who assaulted him backstage. This assault shocked Phoenix Wright and Nappa, even more than the previous Mr. L attacks, and led them to shout: "No, not Gaben!" Whether this is an indication of Gaben's popularity and leadership in the VGCW locker room or merely shock at his defeat is unknown. Napp-Life 2 On 2013-03-07, the Great Gaben faced off against one of his rivals, Nappa, for the VGCW General Manager Tournament. The winner would advance to the second round. The match was a predetermined pick, completely random, but Gabe and Nappa ended up in the same match. They entered the ring with enthusiasm and full wallets. Those were both about to change. With the promise of mandatory hats, Gabe and Nappa began to fight. It was a long, drawn out fight, which included destroying a barrier, and stripping Table-san of her dignity. Then, when all seemed bleak, the Savior came through. Putting Nappa atop the ring post, Gabe grabbed him, and took a leap of faith. The crowd held their breath. The arena shook. The world stopped spinning. Gaben took Nappa into the ring, causing the fourth ring collapse in VGCW history, and the second at the expense of these two giants. Nappa and the Ref lay broken on the ground, and Gaben slowly emerged, the victor of a tough match. Potential "Title Update" Gaben finally won a match when he entered at #37 on 2013-02-28 , last eliminating Mario to earn a future VGCW title shot. With Donkey Kong suspended and the VGCW title vaccated, it was announced on 2013-03-19 that a tournament was to be announced to decide the new Champion. But Gaben, along with Charles Barkley, Dr. Wily, and Ganondorf all contested the legitimacy of this, each claiming they deserved the title. It was decided that the four would face off in a Fatal Four-Way match at the end of the Great Tournament to determine who the belt would pass on to. Kacho-Strike: Global Offensive Gaben's second match in The Great Tournament would be on 2013-03-19 versus another VGCW fan favorite, Chief Arino. With the main event spotlight focused on the two competitors, the crowd was as hyped as ever to witness the end of the second round of the tournament and would advance to the Final Four. With eruptious cheers from both sides, the fight began. Savior was able to mount a great deal of offense early on, dodging Arino's devastating Kacho Kicks with the greatest of ease. Arino's inability to take advantage of such a wide hitbox would be his eventual undoing. During the match, Gaben almost met a gruesome end as he ended up being pushed atop Table-san. Arino scaled the top rope in order to land a backflip, but Gaben and his educated feet were too fast. Savior executed an incredible backflip of his own, dodging the attack and leaving the Kacho to fall face first through the table. With his opponent almost finished, Gabe locked in the Wallet Squeeze, which Arino was surprisingly able to counter, stunning everyone. Perhaps the Wallet Squeeze didn't accept yen? After a dominant performance, Gaben moved on to the Final Four in the tourney to face Charles Barkley at a later date. Ass Kickings - 75% Off On 2013-03-26, the night of the final four portion of The Great Tournament, Gaben promised in an interview with Phoenix Wright that all ass-kickings would be 75% off. This Steam sale activated as soon as he stepped inside the ring with Charles Barkley. After a routine strong start, the crowd was already convinced that Gaben would be the eventual victor. Despite a decent showing and an almost successful comeback by Barkley, Gabe was able to lock in the Wallet Squeeze in the middle of the ring. For the second show in a row, however, an opponent would actually escape from the finishing submission maneuver, reversing it into a devastating DDT. Steam doesn't accept Neo-Shekels, after all. Fortunately for Gaben, the damage to the ribs had already been done. The Chaos Dunk that destroyed Neo New York would prove to be nothing compared to the impact of Gabe's bodyslam in the middle of the ring, leading to the eventual pinfall. Then, Gaben moved on to the finals to face the augmented underdog, Adam Jensen. The group who performs Jensen's theme song is named Men Without Hats, something that Savior should definitely see as a threat. Gabe was one match away from installing himself as the General Manager of VGCW! Could he succeed or would Jensen ensure a hat-less future? And it all goes offline Everything went wrong for Gaben in the 2013-04-02 stream. In the VGCW Championship Fatal Fourway Match, Gabe quickly focused his attentions on Ganondorf. The Dark Lord and CEO of Hats kept it mostly outside, with Table-san being a victim of Ganondorf diving off the turnbuckle to try and demolish Gabe! Gabe didn't give up however, and continued the fight...but Ganon and Gabe were so wrapped up in their own battle, they didn't notice Barkley and Wily's fight becoming increasingly one-sided, and Barkley got the pin and won the title. Still hurt from his Fatal Fourway Match, Gabe had to go right into the GM tournament finals against Adam Jensen. The Cyborg gave Gabe quite some trouble, exploiting his fatigue from his fight against Ganon. But before either competitor could achieve victory, Dan Hibiki entered the ring and struck both competitors down, claiming the coveted GM position for Dracula! His title chance was gone, his chance of becoming General Manager was stolen from him by Dan and Dracula, and even Steam went down during the stream. It was a dark night for Gabe. Non Royal-Rumble Record Gallery alReZ.gif|Nappa and Gaben break the ring Ngx8j.jpg|The overlay picture flashed by Bazza for Gaben's opening and when the ''Gaben Wallet Squeeze'''' is used. hh gabe still cant into 3.png|Even with a horse mask on, he can't count to 3 Walletsqueeze.gif|Another successful Wallet Squeeze 1LTQAA0.gif|Gabe breaking the ring with Nappa. There goes Ref #4. gabedodge.gif gabedodgereplay.gif|Replay of surprising agility from Savior gabeleap.gif Jensen vs Gaben.png